I love mornings with Mom even when the fog of dementia takes over leaving her in a memory-less place I cannot join her.
Sometimes she watches me warily, the way one would observe a stranger. Other times she looks at me with impish curiosity – the way a child might look at a puppies wagging tail. I grin back at her and ask, “Mom, do you like what you see?” Her eyes sparkle when she says, “I just might.” One time she said, “I love what I see.”
I hung every one of those words in my heart.
The best part of our mornings are when she asks me to “get out the book.” I get her Bible and read to her from the Psalms before I pray for us and those we love. When I pray, she folds her hands and bows her head deeply. Yes, I peek. I don’t want to miss a single blessing. Her quiet “amen” is full of childlike faith – the kind God loves. (Luke 18:17)
When I read to her from Psalm 27, 62, 63, or 103, she closes her eyes and tilts her head back as she puts every bit of energy she has into listening. Her worship is so pure, it’s breathtaking. She’s no longer in a place where everything she knew is gone. Instead, she is in a faith-filled place that is eternal. She is one with the One who knows what I cannot and loves her more than I can imagine.
In these mysterious and miraculous moments she is transformed. Gratitude so powerful it blends itself into my sorrow so completely I cannot tell one from the other floods my soul.
For a few minutes, before her illness steals her away again, we are both renewed.
Yesterday, before she slipped back into wherever dementia takes her, I said, “Mom – I’m so glad we have forever because of our faith in Jesus and that all of this is temporary!”
She smiled at me and poured a bucketful of love into my heart from her eyes, and said, “Me too.”
Seeing my tears she asked, “Are you sad?”
I answered, “Yes and no.”
That impish smile danced across her lips and she said, “That’s the way you are.” Then, she was gone.
I love all my moments with her, but my favorite part of mornings with Mom is the way she hangs on His every Word.
2 Corinthians 4:16 – 17 (NIV)
Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
Until Next Time,