On a recent walk around one of our wildflower gardens, I noticed the beautiful faces of many of my favorite tiny asters were facing away from me. It was a cloudy day so they weren’t following the sun. They were just being blossoms.
And yet, a familiar knowing rose in my heart. A God and me moment was on the way.
Standing still, I waited and prayed eagerly for what He had for me. After several deep breaths (the asters smell like honey!), thoughts and questions as hot and humid as the day zinged through my mind.
They had everything to do with getting things done for God and writing and what that might look like in my cancer altered life.
Because cancer changes things.
I asked Him about unfinished writing projects and all the ideas I have.
Where I once assumed I’d be writing until I was much older than I am, I now wonder how much time I have left to write.
Yep – cancer changes things.
A gentle breeze blew across the wildflower field and I breathed a little deeper. Okay – it was more like a big inhale and an even bigger exhale. Some might call it a dramatic sigh. It was followed by a cacophony of questions.
“Lord, there are novels I want to write and stories I yearn to tell and God moments I long to share! Will I have time? Which ones matter the most? What if I don’t get them done in time? What was once crystal clear is now sort of blurry.”
My questions went on for some time. Sweat ran into my eyes. So did some tears.
Finally, I took another honey-scented breath deeper and louder than the ones before it and asked Him, “What do You want me to do all of the days of the rest of my life?”
These verses from His Word brought the lesson He was preparing my heart to receive.
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
Colossians 3:23 & 24 (ESV)
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16 (ESV)
I smiled into the soft gray sky, let the breeze dry my tears (and some of the sweat!), and looked at the blossoms I love so much one more time before moving on. That was when I saw these three, their sweet faces “looking” in my direction.
Although they don’t in any way represent the incomprehensible majesty of God, or have any spiritual symbolism, they were a tender reminder that of the One who is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is the God who knows me.
He will give me the courage to serve and shine even when my body requires a nap and especially on the days when two naps are essential.
And I am certain that God and I will accomplish His will for my life in the days He gives me.
I believe this truth like never before because cancer changes hearts and things.
Until Next Time,
P. S. Here is a prayer I’ve been whispering to Him based on the verses above:
“Lord, help me to write and take pictures heartily for You alone because I know that my reward and inheritance come from You. I serve You, Lord Christ. And Father, please show me how to let my light shine before others so they will see my good works and glorify You. In Jesus Name and Power, amen.”