On a recent walk around one of our wildflower gardens, I noticed the beautiful faces of many of my favorite tiny asters were facing away from me. It was a cloudy day so they weren’t following the sun. They were just being blossoms.
And yet, a familiar knowing rose in my heart. A God and me moment was on the way.
Standing still, I waited and prayed eagerly for what He had for me. After several deep breaths (the asters smell like honey!), thoughts and questions as hot and humid as the day zinged through my mind.
They had everything to do with getting things done for God and writing and what that might look like in my cancer altered life.
Because cancer changes things.
I asked Him about unfinished writing projects and all the ideas I have.
Where I once assumed I’d be writing until I was much older than I am, I now wonder how much time I have left to write.
Yep – cancer changes things.
A gentle breeze blew across the wildflower field and I breathed a little deeper. Okay – it was more like a big inhale and an even bigger exhale. Some might call it a dramatic sigh. It was followed by a cacophony of questions.
“Lord, there are novels I want to write and stories I yearn to tell and God moments I long to share! Will I have time? Which ones matter the most? What if I don’t get them done in time? What was once crystal clear is now sort of blurry.”
My questions went on for some time. Sweat ran into my eyes. So did some tears.
Finally, I took another honey-scented breath deeper and louder than the ones before it and asked Him, “What do You want me to do all of the days of the rest of my life?”
These verses from His Word brought the lesson He was preparing my heart to receive.
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
Colossians 3:23 & 24 (ESV)
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16 (ESV)
I smiled into the soft gray sky, let the breeze dry my tears (and some of the sweat!), and looked at the blossoms I love so much one more time before moving on. That was when I saw these three, their sweet faces “looking” in my direction.
Although they don’t in any way represent the incomprehensible majesty of God, or have any spiritual symbolism, they were a tender reminder that of the One who is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is the God who knows me.
He will give me the courage to serve and shine even when my body requires a nap and especially on the days when two naps are essential.
And I am certain that God and I will accomplish His will for my life in the days He gives me.
I believe this truth like never before because cancer changes hearts and things.
Until Next Time,
Joy
P. S. Here is a prayer I’ve been whispering to Him based on the verses above:
“Lord, help me to write and take pictures heartily for You alone because I know that my reward and inheritance come from You. I serve You, Lord Christ. And Father, please show me how to let my light shine before others so they will see my good works and glorify You. In Jesus Name and Power, amen.”
But Heaven! We will not be idle in heaven. I believe God will put us to work doing what we love in a thousand greater ways. Carving diamonds out of stars, painting rainbows, writing poetry for the angels. It is an exciting time for you. Oh, how I envy you.
Yes! Heaven! I do look forward to it. I can only imagine! Although I confess, I am curious about the time He gives me here fare more than I was before. 🙂
This resonates with me so much! I too, had that moment when I realized even if the pain never got better I wanted every breath, every thought and every action to be pleasing to Him and to make Him known. In living that out the pain has gotten better, at times. Most of the time, it is about the same. But, it is all worth it when it is all for Him. Love you my friend!
I love you too!!! You are SO right -it is worth it all when it is for Him!
Hi Joy!! Love your stories! I PRAY GOD gives you the strength to do whatever it is you desire until the day HE calls you home.
Thank you, Julie! Your prayers are precious. I’m saying one for you tonight too!
What a beautiful post, Joy! Thank you for sharing. Cancer does change our perspective and can give us a clearer focus on what is truly important. I’m enjoying your photos too! Keeping you in prayer, Carrie
Thank you, Carrie! I love the way God brings us together – you are in my prayers too!
Very touching and inspiring! Praying for you.
Thank you, Mary! I’m saying a prayer for you right now!
Sweet Joy, your writing is such a gift from God. I honestly could read your words for hours on end. Know that I am praying for you and am looking forward to more of your “light shine”. God bless you in all ways.
Thank you, DeVon! What an encouragement you are! I’m grateful for your prayers and am saying one for you tonight!
Such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your heart, in good times and challenging times both. I’m confident you will continue writing, my friend! You have so many gifts, so keep pressing on, Joy! Love you!
Oh Joy, I am so sad to hear this. You are remarkable and have so enjoyed the letters you have sent to me. I will pray for you, knowing that our BLESSED FATHER is in control. Please, as long as you can, keep me updated. I feel like I know you personally.
Love from my heart to yours, Marj Tolles